WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
God, I missed his penis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
