He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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