Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
