Sry I called you an 8
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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