Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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