Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
