so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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