he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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