Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize