My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
