Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
