Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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