No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
