And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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