The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
