Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dont even know how to be here
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
