Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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