I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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