would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So gin and wine won't be happening again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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