I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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