We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
