I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
