i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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