why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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