Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
