Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
