Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
