How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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