Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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