another moral hangover. fuck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
