I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
