he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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