Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize