so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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