woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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