Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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