I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
