I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The adults are the big ones right?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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