i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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