i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You took a bar mat shot.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
