After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
