the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
