I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
