So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
His nipple licking is glorious
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