Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize