That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
