You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
