it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
