It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
