Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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