Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
