I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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