Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
