Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
