He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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