she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize