Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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