how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
