You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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