She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I cut my penus on the lid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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