You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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