Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
