I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
