you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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