So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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