ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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