the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
