He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
