Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
