He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
