just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
