Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
