I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
